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Captain Johnsy's address

27th June 2012

Sorry about the great delay with the write up, been really busy with work .... and just about got over the weekend - was a pretty bad state!!

Well here it is:

As previously decided the previous week at something past midnight in the TA the week before, this week was going to be last ride on a Wednesday with a moos for a while as I was moving back to the motherland. To be honest I've had enough of the accents and just wanted to get back to somewhere where people speak normally and I can understand everyone!!

Prior to the ride I had 'influence' from other moos about trails we should do; and that the ride should be a thirsty one with as little big slogs up hills as possible. Taking this in mind - we left the Legion at 6:45 with 24 in the herd and headed straight up to the mast on the nice hot and humid evening that it was. A few moans and groans were heard .... but they were so far behind breathing out of their ass that it was actually quite hard to hear them. After we all converged upon the mast, a look around saw a mix of happy smiling faces, as well as the red, panting faces of the 'thirstier' of the moos.

Out descent down was straight down 72 turns (after being told it's actually called '74 turns', a reply was given as p**s off its 72 now and 2 of the turns were taking out for being too dangerous. Everyone took off in their own time a pace, at the bottom and over the barbwire fence a bright eyed moo noticed that around 7 were missing. A few minutes passed until the rumour went round that they must have been in front of us - so we told ourselves that this lie was true and off we went at 3/4 strength herd now. While trying follow Budgie through the ferns I saw he had a good wobble and about to come off - I was 4ft behind him and panicked, the next thing I knew I was skidding through the ferns and bracken on my ass and side of my face, much to amusement of Russ Ludlow. Over the train tracks and into the residential estate, finding out that the lie we told ourselves was actually a lie so a few phone calls, a few minutes wait and the herd was back together again.

From then it was another fun climb to the top of the woods. From here our final destination was the Holly Bush. After much moaning and groaning about there being much more f***y in the Maenllwyd, the plan stayed as it originally was and we headed down to the Holly Bush. Vice-Beaker told me of a magical and mystical 'new route' straight down from the top of the woods to the front doors of the pub. Many 'oohs' and 'aahs' went around the herd with anticipation and with some sceptics about the general 'downhill' feel of this route, as some thought that it was too good to be true .... well they were right - it was s**t. Way too 'XC' for us REAL mountain bikers because not a scrap of lyrca was seen that Wednesday night! Anyway it put as at the doors of the pub to everyone's delight. On the way to the pub however the tables had turned with myself and Budgie with him following me; front wheel slipped away from me and I ended up using everyone's favourite brake - their face, however still managing to stay on my feet ? Work that one out! With a bent brake lever, a run over back wheel from Budgie (but not damaged) and a narrow miss from being run over from the little birdy himself we made it to the bottom with no more mishaps.

After a swift few pints it was time to move on again, but this time it was back home to the TA when we were greeted with friendly smiles, new faces behind the bar (poor girls) and a promise of the monthly awards ... which never materialised; oh well we're not known for our great organisation skills!

Well that was my final Wednesday ride with the moos for sometime... and its been an emotional ride. This weeks festivities were not over as there was the downhill day on Saturday to look forward too in the Forest of Dean. I'm sure a beer or 2 will be had over the weekend and the boys will give me a good sending off

And writing this from after the weekend I can tell you that it was an extremely good weekend and a good sending off, and I'm sure many of you are aware of stories and photographic evidence of just how much fun was had!

So long for now - and see you all in a few weeks in Devon for the summer trip! (didn't think you'll get rid of me that easily did you)


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