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Captain Johnsy's address

8th January 2014

Surprising turn out given that my rides are notoriously s*** and it was a tad parky. 15 eager faces there were at the leg iron. Well 14 faces and a Doctor Who monster (Crock!), think Bernie was there as well bit hard to tell in the dark.
The majority seemed to be hoping for a flat dry ride for 10 mins to the pub, particular Feather, as his right bollock seems to have mysterious swung round in the night and dented his back.
Crock wanted to lead us out 2 by 2 and seemed a bit disappointed it wasn’t raining in Biblical proportions.
The look on Clarky’s face of outrage and disappointment resonated as we made our way up Lewis street, Cwm Fedw, followed by velvet & daffodil.
Keeping it succinct being the order, a quick push straight up to the fence at top of the front trail went down well. Brief pause allowed respite for the usual venting of complaints about sore pockets and water being wet . That out of the way we proceeded to smash Kuala. Fair to say the top part was sloppier than a tarts bit’s after a hard saturday night shift. However, once ploughed, the main trail was the usual rollercoaster fun.
My announcement of a second push up to the top was met with a momentary silence, broken by a strange hissing sound and steam emanating from Feathers right testicle.
Next ‘Carpet’ trail. Same bottom water entry as Kuala but then carpet was flowing like a nun at a Take That concert. Even Crock’s aerodynamically challenged features didn’t slow us up.
By now most had cottoned on to the form of the ride and it was not a huge surprise when I announced a 3rd push up back to the top of the front trail. I absolutely expected HMS bounty to set sail at this point. But no, to the top again with all heads present.
Classic front trail and then to the forge was the general idea but several factions did manifest in the spirit of any way down being ok.  Also a minor mutiny to slip in some extra riding led by Viceroy Gaz to scope out a new Ade trail linking the bottom of 72 turns to quarry run.
Ex captain Jock took some revenge & pleasure in my inevitable face plant en route down the front trail, laughing as he fluttered passed, like Barry Sheene stung by a wasp.
Finally regrouped at HQ and gourmet spread of chips, pasties and chilli. Once noshed there ensued quality nostalgic banter over the bands that had appeared on the Young ones show. Followed by Feather reminding us how much fun space hoppers were via a demonstration using his now magnificent right testicle.
Onwards and upwards and then downwards gentlemen
.